Let's imagine that you are a first time parent. You have read all of the child rearing books cover to cover, you know what to expect and when to expect it. Your little one happens to be the light of your life and you spend hours talking about them, telling everyone you know exactly how great your baby is. They sleep through the night at an early age, they don't fuss, they've never gotten sick, and they are WAY smarter than all of the other kids you see everywhere. Your baby is perfect. Your little angel can do no wrong.
Then something happens to shatter those dreams of a perfect child. Something they didn't bother to write about in those baby and toddler books. Something that never even crossed your mind. Something out of a horror film.
You wake up one morning fully rested, the birds are chirping, the dew is still fresh on the grass with a faint lavender scent in the air, there is a gorgeous full rainbow and little mice are running around in your garden singing Disney songs. You head to your precious little baby's room to check on them and wish them a good morning.
The second you open their door, you slam it shut and think, "This can't be real - I must be dreaming". Oh, you're not dreaming. What you saw is real. And YOU get to clean it up.
When you opened the door, you saw that your child awakened a little earlier than you. Just earlier enough for them to reach into their diaper and extract a little nastiness. Then wipe it on the wall. And their crib. Along with their hair, arms, legs, feet and don't forget in their ears.
The big kicker is that your little angel looks as proud as could be. You run to the linen closet and grab a couple of towels so that you can carry them to the bathtub. Then you spend the next 30 minutes scrubbing them, trying also, to wash away the memory. But it's not fading in the least.
The only good thing to come of this is that you get to recount this story to other mothers. After, of course, they have already experienced it. You wouldn't want them to be on the look out for this horrible situation. No, you want to make sure they were as damaged as you from the experience.
Unfortunately, this story is true. I had a similar "perfect baby" on that "perfect morning". Believe me. This will not be the worst thing you go through with your kids. By a long shot.
Welcome to parenting!
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