I am a simple lady. I don't buy expensive clothes, shoes and purses. I don't go out and get mani's and pedi's every week. I've never been high maintenence. But there is one thing that I splurge on. My makeup. It's something that I don't wear too often, because when was the last time that anyone could say that they dressed up to be a stay at home mom. I wear it on the rare occasion that my husband and I can go to a restaurant that doesn't stock up on crayons or paper menus. Keep this in mind as I tell the rest of the story.
I was making Peyton lunch - his always requested peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I called to Peyton and told him it was time to sit down. He reached his chubby little hand up to grab his cup and I noticed red marks on his stomach. They looked like bruises so I crouched down to check them.
The marks smeared when I touched them. Oh lordy. I asked him what it was and he said that he was coloring. I hadn't given him crayons or markers that morning. This was not going to be good. He said that he was coloring in his room. So ... I walk into his room and I don't immediately see anything. Then I look to his toy shelf and the brand new canvas boxes that we had gotten to store away all of his stuff. Red marks. All over.
I just closed my eyes and thanked the big guy upstairs that it wasn't too bad. The liners could be washed, disaster averted. Peyton finished his lunch and I sent him to use the potty before "rest time". And no, he doesn't need to rest, mommy needs an hour break. Hopefully, from these stories, you can understand why.
Peyton comes out of the bathroom and I see little blue footprints from the bathroom to his door. OH MY GOSH!!! Either there is a smurf loose in the house, or Peyton has done something else. I just stood in front of the bathroom door, not wanting to know what had happened in there.
When I open the door, my eyes can't focus on one particular thing. There was too much going on. Too much.
The bottle of Inspector Hector mouthwash was on the counter. Empty. This is the source of the blue everywhere. It was all over the floor, it was in the toilet, in the sink, on the shower curtain. The shampoo bottle was opened with an odd blue color seeping through the shampoo. There was handsoap squirted all over the counter and the highlight of his art display was a mauve colored spiral outlining the edges of the counter ending in a pretty little swirl around the sink all the way to the stopper. My $15 a tube lipstick. Nice. Especially since I had only worn it twice.
You're probably wondering, don't you ever watch your kids? Absolutely. I had been in Peyton's room playing cars with him right before I made his lunch. You may also ask, don't you keep that kind of stuff out of his reach? Uh ... you've read the stories. Of course I keep stuff like that away from him. But he had broken into our bedroom - which is where I keep the makeup and Inspector Hector. He broke off the child safe door handle. Child safe? I think not.
He's a quick little bugger - all of this was done in less than 5 minutes. I feel sorry for the kindergarten teacher he will have in 2012. Poor, poor lady.
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